Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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