Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish I only lived at night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The power of my boobs compel you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
