drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
