he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
