You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
