Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
