Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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