? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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