chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
