Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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