Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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