Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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