i don't like sucking hair
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
