yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
