Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
