You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
