There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
