The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
