I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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