the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
