I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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