i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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