I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I would fuck him just for his dog
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