walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
