Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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