In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
