Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
