its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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