You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
