Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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