fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
