I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
