Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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