Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
well you can't waste a boner
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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