with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
