Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
