Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my sisters under your porch take her home
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize