i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
