You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize