Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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