craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
