so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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