She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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