I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
