I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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