I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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