Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When are your genitals available?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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