we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
