What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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