I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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