He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I need a beard to bite.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
