Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
