I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize