Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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