good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize