Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize