pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
