HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My feet surprised me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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