I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize