Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
