Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
